Achieve Your Dreams

Cheer Up Charlie

2008-09-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

Cheer Up Charlie, sings Charlies Mom in Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. I was watching that movie again, well my little one loves it and I have to say I like it too.

But there's a lot of good morals in it. Charlie is determined, like so many he's the outsider, the one struggling but always dreams, always says why not, why can it not be me. He's determined, he knows he has an outside chance, a week chance but he still goes for it. He does not give up and guess what he gets the golden ticket

Then of course he wins the factory, only after heartache of perhaps loosing it. If you look closely at the movie you'll see loads of great motivational messages.

For me I think the message is never give up, if you have a dream don't ever think it will not happen. Always believe it will. You know you never loose in this life until you give up. Once you give up you've lost.

I think people get down etc, because they don't see the big picture. They see shorten benefits and gains rather than understanding the long term picture. We all want instant gratification however so many of us forget the big picture.

Instant gratification is something that is all too common online. Make money with 12 hours of buying this product etc. It does not happen. We need to have goals, we need to have time to think about our plans, in fact we need to have plans.

So what's your plan? What's your big picture?

Leave me a comment, or get in touch

Richard

2008-09-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

How many people do you come into contact with?

This post will show you a little bit more about me and where I work on a contract basis, in between saving the world!

Each day when I am working I get the train to Connolly Station

View Larger Map

Walk up Talbot St (zoom up on the map) and then turn right onto Lower Gardier St, perhaps half way up that road I see the first person "i know" a lovely looking Eastern European girl (little skinny) always dressed well, always on the phone. We've caught each others eye and so are aware of each other now.

Then slightly further up i see a guy in a business suit pushing a pushcar with his little boy in it. They usually stop at some apartments to listen to a bird singing which is on the balcony

Just past montjoy park (where I have my lunch) i see the man with his Chinese daughter, she is so gorgeous, about 3 maybe, pig tails and so pretty.

It's like a routine - i look out for these people everyday. Do they know me, or do they even see me? Who knows but it brings a nice routine to my day. It always makes me think about how we pass in and out of other peoples lives and may never realise the impact it has. Perhaps it's the person you smile to who sells the papers, perhaps the girl who serves your latte in starbucks, perhaps....

You never know how much that smile or hello means so think about it next time.....

To your success

Richard

NLP and Communication

2008-09-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

Communication - something we do each and every day and most of us are never trained in how to communicate - yes we should be educated on it.

There's two presuppositions (things we believe to be true) in NLP that I am going to use:
"The Map is not the territory" - this basically means that each person sees the world according to their values, beliefs and experiences. Every one perceives situations differently.

Let's take two examples - three people go to a movie. It's the same movie but each person has a different opinion of it. For example in order to be a "good movie" person A needs it to fill a certain criteria, as does person B and C.

If two people go to a resturant for a meal they can both have different opinions based on what their criteria is for a "good meal".

So how does this help us in communication? Easy really! Understand that you have one point of view and people have another point of view, try to meet them at their map of the world!

The second point to make is this:
"The meaning of the communication is the response that it gets"

We have to be clear in our communication so as not to leave any ambiguity at all. When you speak to someone they will decide what you mean. So:
"I love you" means many things to many people:
The woman who was in a violent relationship may shudder remember that's what "he" said after hitting her
The man who had his heart broken may believe it's a throw away remark, as "she" said that and then messed him about.

Thus we have to remember that what we say and what people may interpet are two different things! This is very important.

If you want to know more about NLP why not download my free nlp ebook

To better communication success

Richard

How Bad is YOUR Life?

2008-09-18T02:35:00.000-07:00

So you think you have it bad, man I went thru that phase a few times, I had it so bad, oh poor me, etc etc, you know what. You may have it bad but you're damn lucky how good you have it.

Let's take an example from last night and this morning

Last night I had to photocopy some notes for some training I was doing, I got outside and put Ava, my little on into her car seat. I left my passenger door open. This female drunk came up and started looking into the car, whhassss daaaa she said, I had to ask her to move and actually push her away. She kept looking at me, so I got into the car and locked the doors, poor old Ava was not sure why the bad lady was there or what she was doing.

I told her it was ok...

This morning on the way to work a group of men drinking cider (at 9am)

So that got me thinking about this post, How lucky we are, sure I went thru a marriage breakup, sure my income went down initially when I started out. But am I alive, yes, am I healthy yes, do I have somewhere to live? Yes, Do I have a loving daughter yes.

Look around and ask yourself how lucky am I? Even when things are not going as expected think how lucky you are.

Think about the great things in your life. Think about the people who love you.

At the end of the day we have a lot to be happy for remember that

Keep on keepin' on

Richard

So does everything happen for a reason?

2008-09-16T03:56:00.000-07:00

ok so yesterday I talked about things happening for a reason. My friend who's a mental health care profession would say that as humans we don't like randomness, we have to find an explanation for everything. It's an interesting point and one I suppose that is true.

However being a bit more spiritual and liking to believe in the universal law I do think that things happen in order to shake us up. We can get cozy in our existence, believing that we are "unshakable". This happened to me.

Want to hear my story? Last Novemeber I left my very good full time job, to go out on my own as a contractor and IT trainer. I had a range of skills from life and business coaching, right thru to internet marketing. I thought it would be simple to get back to my earnings that I had in my salary job. I was perhaps over ambitious and believed that things would work quicker than they did. Yes now nearly a year later things are nearly at the level they were and they continue to grow.

There was a downside, as I worked harder and initially showed less income, things became strained at home, arguements developed, relationships soured. To cut a long story short I lost my marriage earlier this year. Something that is still difficult to accept but it happened. I asked myself why did this happen. Still I look for a reason but I have two:
I am now more independent
I have learned not to get comfortable and take anything or anyone for granted

Yup it was a hard lesson to learn (there were other lessons which will be discussed perhaps in the future) but now I am more independent, I am focusing even more and working harder even more.

Now I can tell you with certainty that things do happen for a reason, sometimes you will not find out for a while, sometimes it may be months or years, however you will suddenly realise why things happened.

I also believe this has made me an even better coach

To your ultimate success (keep on keepin' on)

Richard

Why do things happen to me?

2008-09-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

An interesting question that many people ask me.

Why did this or that happen to me? It's a question I can't answer specifically all I can say is that I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is unknown to us until some time later in our lives. Sometimes the reason something happens is to wake us up from our existence that we have become to comfortable in.

I've had a lot happen to me in the last year or so, and I am still asking myself that question. Why did this happen to me. The only answer I have is because I became too used to what I had in my life. It was time for the universe to shake me up and say Richard, start to realise how lucky you are. I have realised how lucky I was and am now rebuilding both my business and my life. What have I learned about all of this? I believe it has made me a better person, I believe I am getting more focused in what I have to and will achieve.

I'll reveal more later

Richard

I can't believe it

2008-09-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it has been nearly two years since I last updated. I was just showing my students how to use blogger.com and when I logged in I found my blog!

Ok since then I have created the following sites:
http://www.richardbutlerthesuccesscoach.com
http://www.richardbutler.ie
http://www.changehowyouthink.com
http://www.changehowyouthink.info

Been busy and a lot has happened which I will update you on as the days go by

Richard

Negative Thoughts

2006-10-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Hi again, sorry yesterday was busy so did not get a chance to blog

Here's the thought for today:
"What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves"

Read it again, what you think you prove. It's like a little response in your mind that says ok I think i am silly, gotta prove that. How many times does that happen to you.

If you think you can or you think you can't you're right, paraphrased from Henry Ford.

How many times have you said I can't do that? Your mind processes that and decides you are right, and then you can't do it.

Why not start thinking in a more positive manner? Why not think I might not be able to do it now, however if I practice or learn a little bit more I may be able to do it.

We seem, as human beings, to be conditioned to accept failure. "Ah sure I knew it would not work out." "Everything always goes wrong for me", people tend to think like that.

Start to think in a more positive light, after all if you think it might work out, a lot of times it does. Thinking negatively can be so destructive. You think of the worse case scenario's. However sometimes worse case does not happen, in fact in my life I have found that very often worst case does not happen.

So I want you to be more positive in your thoughts.

Tomorrow we'll look at decisions and how important they are to your life

Keep on Keepin' on

Richard Butler
The Success Coach

What are you saying to yourself?

2006-10-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

The traffic light system is great to use when you are with others, but why not try it on yourself?

Most of us have self talk - no not those voices in your head that make you do crazy things! But a voice that will tell you that you were stupid to do this or silly for not doing that. This is a normal voice.

What does your voice say? I know mine used to tell me how stupid I was when I did something wrong, or sometimes it said good things, for example when I was drunk I found my inner voice asking if this is what a great life coach does? That soon put me on the straight and narrow!

So what is what your inner voice telling you? Stop and listen to it. So many times are inner voices say negative things to us (sometimes good to protect ourselves), however start saying nice things to yourself. Compliment yourself for a job well done, or when you resisit temptation to eat more or have another drink or cigarette.

As humans we seem to be conditioned for failure, when something goes right we seem to be amazed and stunned, wow that actually worked!

I want you to listen to your inner voice and begin to become more positive.

Try that for the next few days, you will be amazed at how many negative things you say to yourself. We'll explore the idea of negative exposure again tomorrow

Till then keep on keepin' on!

Richard Butler
The Success Coach

The Traffic Light System

2006-10-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

The Traffic Light System

This is a new theory that I am working on. It is a very simple theory - I don't believe in making anything difficult.

Traffic lights tell us what to do out on the road
Red Stop
Amber Look out and listen but better to wait
Green is Go

And that's how my system works
Stop what you are doing
Look and Listen to what is going on around you. Listen to what people are saying verbally and look to see what they are doing with their bodies - body language is so important
Go - begin to speak comment when you have found out what is going on.

It's amazing how many people don't look and listen to what's going on, they simply talk and think that others are taking on board what they are saying. Once you stop look and listen you will see the reaction of others which can tell you so much

Too many people just get caught up in themselves - this can be a person's downfall.

So for the next week I want you to stop look and listen

Till tomorrow

Richard

The Map is not the Territory

2006-10-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

"The Map is Not the Terrority"

When I was learning NLP this is one thing that really confused me, it took me a while to see what was meant.

Once I understood it my life changed, it really did and so will yours!

Think about a map, it is only a representation of the actual area it is describing. The actual territory/area is different.

Another way of looking at is, the training manual is not the training. What you see in the training manual or seminar manual that you attend is not the actual training or seminar - it is one way of representing it.

So what does this mean to you?

It means that each person has their own map of the world, their own way of representing life and what they think and believe.

We all have different maps, we are all different. Who is to say which "map" is correct?

The next time you have a convsersation with someone remember that they are representing their point of view, or the view as they see it from their map. Respect this!

I really am convinced that communication is the key to all relationships, whether business or personal. People fail to communicate clearly and correctly.

Do you know what the key to great communication is? Listening! How many people don't listen, or at least only listen at a superficial level?

I teach a technique call the "traffic light system" - discover how to this works and you're on your road to success.

Tomorrow I'll delve a little into this technique

Have a great weekend, however much is left of it!

Richard

Changing how you think

2006-09-29T23:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought about how you think about situations or people?

Let me tell you that how you think affects your life

Sometimes we accept out thoughts without question. "I don't like that person, they seem arrogant", "I don't like her she is so obsessed by her looks", have you been in these situations.

You think you know about the person or situation but you have not even got to know the person or understand the situation. So we automatically make a judgement based on what we think.

What I would like you to do is to become to me more opened minded and begin to understand how people think.

There's a saying in NLP that says
"The Map is not the Terrority"

This saying confuses a lot of people. When you see a map of say a city is it the actual city, is it what you see when you get there, for example flat buildings and lines and numbers? Of course not it is only a representation.

When you got a resturant the menu is only a representation of the food.

When we are presented with a situation we see one representation of it. We use our existing information and represent that situation to ourselves. To another person it is completely different - this to me is where so many problems occur. People don't realise that each person has their own map and they can see a situation differently.

WOW! Imagine that, someone elses point of view might actually be different!

We'll go into this in more details tomorrow, but for now try to step back from every situation and really do try to see it from a different perspective - see the change!

To your success

Richard

What is Life Coaching/NLP?

2006-09-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

As promised I want to share a bit more about what I do with you.

I am a qualified Life and Business Coach and practioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

What is Life Coaching?

Life coaching is, in a nutshell, about helping people get more from their life. You'll see more artsy definitions but for me I like to keep things simple.

Life coaching looks at your present situation and see's how to get you to the future (what ever future you desire). I don't concern myself greatly with the past - if I can learn from it I use it, if not I forget it. Sure that might seem rough, but why should I agonise on something that I can do nothing about in the present or in the future. As I said if I can learn from a past "mistake" or get feedback from it then it is useful.

Life coaching is like a journey I help you go from A to B. Sometimes you find out more about yourself on the journey and realise that B is not where you want to go. Life Coaching will change your life, it will help open you up to new experiences and try different things. However Life Coaching is always about you. I am the facilitator, you make the decisions I simply ask the questions.

What's a Life Coaching Session like?

That's a good question. It's about talking, reflecting and sometimes soul searching. The first session will usually involve a few exercises to see where you are at, at the present time. I'll do an exercise called the Wheel of Life, to see if you think there are areas in your life which you need to work on. There can be many surprises here!

Next we'll start looking at setting a priority to work on, and from their perhaps some goal setting and action planning.

A life coaching session is not something to be afraid of, in fact it is exciting and refreshing. The coach will ask a lot of questions, deep probing questions - it's up to you to answer them honestly, that is, if you wish to make real progress.

What's Neuro Linguistic Programming?

Oh boy where do I start! It is a process or model to help achieve greatness. I use it very effectively with life coaching. It's broken down into three areas:
Neuro - to do with the mind
Linguistic - to do with language
Programming - to do with how we encode information.

You see each one of use feels comfortable when information is explained in a certain way. Do you ever just have a good feeling about somebody when you meet them, perhaps you have heard great things about them, or simply like they way they look? That's all NLP (although you may not know)

Look at below to the hightlighted words!:
You see each one of use feels comfortable when information is explained in a certain way. Do you ever just have a good feeling about somebody when you meet them, perhaps you have heard great things about them, or simply like they way they look? That's all NLP (although you may not know).

People have a preferred method of receiving information. Some people like information explained to them in person (these people work on an auditory level), some people like to see it explained to them (they work on a visual level) and others like to be hands on (they work on a physical or kinesthetic level).

If you can communicate with people on "their level" you will become more effective in communication. The next time you are talking to people listen to the types of words they are using, are they not seeing things, can't see the wood from the trees, or are they getting ready to hit the ground running, perhaps they want to sing from the same hymm sheet.

As you can see NLP is amazing, and that's not even scratching the surface, when you see what you can do with it you will have the most amazing feelings!!

So that's all for today, tomorrow we'll talk a little bit more about how you change how you think.

To your success

Richard Butler

2006-09-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new changehowyouthink.org/changehowyouthink.com blog

Each day I will post an article, musing, quote, story or other inspirational thought to help you through your day

I'm going to start off tomorrow, telling you a little bit about myself and what I do.

I look forward to you reading the blog

Richard Butler