Cheer Up Charlie

Cheer Up Charlie, sings Charlies Mom in Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. I was watching that movie again, well my little one loves it and I have to say I like it too.

But there's a lot of good morals in it. Charlie is determined, like so many he's the outsider, the one struggling but always dreams, always says why not, why can it not be me. He's determined, he knows he has an outside chance, a week chance but he still goes for it. He does not give up and guess what he gets the golden ticket

Then of course he wins the factory, only after heartache of perhaps loosing it. If you look closely at the movie you'll see loads of great motivational messages.

For me I think the message is never give up, if you have a dream don't ever think it will not happen. Always believe it will. You know you never loose in this life until you give up. Once you give up you've lost.

I think people get down etc, because they don't see the big picture. They see shorten benefits and gains rather than understanding the long term picture. We all want instant gratification however so many of us forget the big picture.

Instant gratification is something that is all too common online. Make money with 12 hours of buying this product etc. It does not happen. We need to have goals, we need to have time to think about our plans, in fact we need to have plans.

So what's your plan? What's your big picture?

Leave me a comment, or get in touch

Richard

How many people do you come into contact with?

This post will show you a little bit more about me and where I work on a contract basis, in between saving the world!

Each day when I am working I get the train to Connolly Station


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Walk up Talbot St (zoom up on the map) and then turn right onto Lower Gardier St, perhaps half way up that road I see the first person "i know" a lovely looking Eastern European girl (little skinny) always dressed well, always on the phone. We've caught each others eye and so are aware of each other now.

Then slightly further up i see a guy in a business suit pushing a pushcar with his little boy in it. They usually stop at some apartments to listen to a bird singing which is on the balcony

Just past montjoy park (where I have my lunch) i see the man with his Chinese daughter, she is so gorgeous, about 3 maybe, pig tails and so pretty.

It's like a routine - i look out for these people everyday. Do they know me, or do they even see me? Who knows but it brings a nice routine to my day. It always makes me think about how we pass in and out of other peoples lives and may never realise the impact it has. Perhaps it's the person you smile to who sells the papers, perhaps the girl who serves your latte in starbucks, perhaps....

You never know how much that smile or hello means so think about it next time.....

To your success

Richard

NLP and Communication

Communication - something we do each and every day and most of us are never trained in how to communicate - yes we should be educated on it.

There's two presuppositions (things we believe to be true) in NLP that I am going to use:
"The Map is not the territory" - this basically means that each person sees the world according to their values, beliefs and experiences. Every one perceives situations differently.

Let's take two examples - three people go to a movie. It's the same movie but each person has a different opinion of it. For example in order to be a "good movie" person A needs it to fill a certain criteria, as does person B and C.

If two people go to a resturant for a meal they can both have different opinions based on what their criteria is for a "good meal".

So how does this help us in communication? Easy really! Understand that you have one point of view and people have another point of view, try to meet them at their map of the world!

The second point to make is this:
"The meaning of the communication is the response that it gets"

We have to be clear in our communication so as not to leave any ambiguity at all. When you speak to someone they will decide what you mean. So:
"I love you" means many things to many people:
The woman who was in a violent relationship may shudder remember that's what "he" said after hitting her
The man who had his heart broken may believe it's a throw away remark, as "she" said that and then messed him about.

Thus we have to remember that what we say and what people may interpet are two different things! This is very important.

If you want to know more about NLP why not download my free nlp ebook

To better communication success

Richard

How Bad is YOUR Life?

So you think you have it bad, man I went thru that phase a few times, I had it so bad, oh poor me, etc etc, you know what. You may have it bad but you're damn lucky how good you have it.

Let's take an example from last night and this morning

Last night I had to photocopy some notes for some training I was doing, I got outside and put Ava, my little on into her car seat. I left my passenger door open. This female drunk came up and started looking into the car, whhassss daaaa she said, I had to ask her to move and actually push her away. She kept looking at me, so I got into the car and locked the doors, poor old Ava was not sure why the bad lady was there or what she was doing.

I told her it was ok...

This morning on the way to work a group of men drinking cider (at 9am)

So that got me thinking about this post, How lucky we are, sure I went thru a marriage breakup, sure my income went down initially when I started out. But am I alive, yes, am I healthy yes, do I have somewhere to live? Yes, Do I have a loving daughter yes.

Look around and ask yourself how lucky am I? Even when things are not going as expected think how lucky you are.

Think about the great things in your life. Think about the people who love you.

At the end of the day we have a lot to be happy for remember that

Keep on keepin' on

Richard

So does everything happen for a reason?

ok so yesterday I talked about things happening for a reason. My friend who's a mental health care profession would say that as humans we don't like randomness, we have to find an explanation for everything. It's an interesting point and one I suppose that is true.

However being a bit more spiritual and liking to believe in the universal law I do think that things happen in order to shake us up. We can get cozy in our existence, believing that we are "unshakable". This happened to me.

Want to hear my story? Last Novemeber I left my very good full time job, to go out on my own as a contractor and IT trainer. I had a range of skills from life and business coaching, right thru to internet marketing. I thought it would be simple to get back to my earnings that I had in my salary job. I was perhaps over ambitious and believed that things would work quicker than they did. Yes now nearly a year later things are nearly at the level they were and they continue to grow.

There was a downside, as I worked harder and initially showed less income, things became strained at home, arguements developed, relationships soured. To cut a long story short I lost my marriage earlier this year. Something that is still difficult to accept but it happened. I asked myself why did this happen. Still I look for a reason but I have two:
I am now more independent
I have learned not to get comfortable and take anything or anyone for granted

Yup it was a hard lesson to learn (there were other lessons which will be discussed perhaps in the future) but now I am more independent, I am focusing even more and working harder even more.

Now I can tell you with certainty that things do happen for a reason, sometimes you will not find out for a while, sometimes it may be months or years, however you will suddenly realise why things happened.

I also believe this has made me an even better coach

To your ultimate success (keep on keepin' on)

Richard

Why do things happen to me?

An interesting question that many people ask me.

Why did this or that happen to me? It's a question I can't answer specifically all I can say is that I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is unknown to us until some time later in our lives. Sometimes the reason something happens is to wake us up from our existence that we have become to comfortable in.

I've had a lot happen to me in the last year or so, and I am still asking myself that question. Why did this happen to me. The only answer I have is because I became too used to what I had in my life. It was time for the universe to shake me up and say Richard, start to realise how lucky you are. I have realised how lucky I was and am now rebuilding both my business and my life. What have I learned about all of this? I believe it has made me a better person, I believe I am getting more focused in what I have to and will achieve.

I'll reveal more later

Richard

I can't believe it

I can't believe that it has been nearly two years since I last updated. I was just showing my students how to use blogger.com and when I logged in I found my blog!

Ok since then I have created the following sites:
http://www.richardbutlerthesuccesscoach.com
http://www.richardbutler.ie
http://www.changehowyouthink.com
http://www.changehowyouthink.info

Been busy and a lot has happened which I will update you on as the days go by

Richard

Negative Thoughts

Hi again, sorry yesterday was busy so did not get a chance to blog

Here's the thought for today:
"What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves"

Read it again, what you think you prove. It's like a little response in your mind that says ok I think i am silly, gotta prove that. How many times does that happen to you.

If you think you can or you think you can't you're right, paraphrased from Henry Ford.

How many times have you said I can't do that? Your mind processes that and decides you are right, and then you can't do it.

Why not start thinking in a more positive manner? Why not think I might not be able to do it now, however if I practice or learn a little bit more I may be able to do it.

We seem, as human beings, to be conditioned to accept failure. "Ah sure I knew it would not work out." "Everything always goes wrong for me", people tend to think like that.

Start to think in a more positive light, after all if you think it might work out, a lot of times it does. Thinking negatively can be so destructive. You think of the worse case scenario's. However sometimes worse case does not happen, in fact in my life I have found that very often worst case does not happen.

So I want you to be more positive in your thoughts.

Tomorrow we'll look at decisions and how important they are to your life

Keep on Keepin' on

Richard Butler
The Success Coach